“My Complete List of 2013 Films I Saw in 2013” – by Big Gabe

Gabriel Alcantara January 20, 2014

Written by Gabriel “Big Gabe” Alcantata

Yup, the title is pretty self explanatory. Because I want to feel important about myself and display a certain dominance over the average movie watcher – hehe, I am totally kidding… or am I – I want to present my full list of the film releases I saw during the year of 2013. Just to make it clear, this is not a best of or worst of list, these films are presented in the order I saw them in. I’ve included my rating scale next to each title, which is a 1 through 5 (or a complete 0 for one exception) rating system, as well as my quick thoughts on each title. I did not see every film in theaters. These films were seen through various methods, some of those methods are frowned upon but I did see every film in good to great quality, so none of the directors’ visions were compromised.

The true reason for this list is to demonstrate my love for film and to show my willingness to watch almost everything. I challenge myself every year and try to watch as many of the year’s releases that I can. I do try to avoid some terrible films, especially those that come from Adam Sandler, but I do let curiosity get the better of me sometimes. *cough* Movie 43 *cough*. Also, if you’ve seen my Best of and Worst of videos and don’t see something like Her or Dallas Buyers Club, you’ll see that I did not watch them during the year, therefore, I couldn’t place those on my list.

Be sure to comment down below and give me some great recommendations on films I missed during the year so I can view them in the future. Also, you can comment on my ratings, my thoughts, or whatever you want.

(2012) – indicates the film was screened in the year 2012 but officially released in 2013.

(SXSW) – indicates I saw the film at the 2013 South By Southwest Film Festival in Austin, Texas… Yay, me!!!

(DTV) – indicates Direct-to-Video, non-theatrical.

(TV) – Made for TV.

(3D) – Duh, I saw it in 3D or IMAX 3D when indicated.

(pre-screening), (unreleased) or (Hollywood Premiere) – That’s right, I saw it before you. Okay, now, I’m just being an ass. Apologies.

The 2013 Films That I Saw in 2013

A Good Die to Die Hard – 3 outta 5 – Sorry, but as terrible of a sequel as this was, it’s a big, dumb but fun guilty pleasure to me.
Dead Man Dead – 3.5 outta 5 (Hollywood Premier) – Pretty good revenge thriller, but not all that memorable.
The Incredible Burt Wonderstone – 4 outta 5 (SXSW Premiere) – Hey, I thought it was funny.
Evil Dead – 4 outta 5 (SXSW Premiere) – As gory and twisted as I was hoping for.
A Teacher – 2 outta 5 (SXSW) – Pointless and dull drama about a woman teacher who sleeps with one of her High School students.
Prince Avalanche – 2.5 outta 5 (SXSW) – When Paul Rudd and Emile Hirsch are together, the film works. Whenever they are apart, blah. Kind of pretentious.
Drinking Buddies – 4 outta 5 (SXSW Premiere) – Great chemistry between the cast and it’s impressive to know that the dialogue was almost entirely improvised.
Mud (2012) – 3.5 outta 5 (SXSW) – Very good film but not outstanding in my eyes.
The Wait – 1 outta 5 (SXSW) (releases in 2014) – THE most pretentious piece of shit I’ve ever seen. Tree of Life, you have my respect now.
Spring Breakers (2012) – 2 outta 5 (originally 1.5) (SXSW North American Premiere) – I’ll give it some minor credit but for the most part, this is a trashy, hackjob film.
Rewind This! – 4 outta 5 (SXSW) – A great documentary about the revolution of VHS tapes.
Milo (renamed Bad Milo) – 3 outta 5 (SXSW) – Odd, little comedic Horror film but it was entertaining.
Scenic Route – 2.5 outta 5 (SXSW) – Josh Duhamel and Dan Fogler are fine but I wasn’t impressed with the script.
I Give it a Year – 4 outta 5 (SXSW) – Very funny and refreshing British comedy.
Hours – 2 outta 5 (SXSW) – R.I.P. Paul Walker, you were a great guy but the same can’t be said for this film.
Some Girl(s) – 3.5 outta 5 (SXSW) – Interesting drama about re-visiting past relationships. Kristen Bell steals the show.
Much Ado About Nothing (2012) – 3.5 outta 5 (SXSW) – Joss Whedon’s take on Shakespeare is refreshing and entertaining.
Short Term 12 – 5 outta 5 (originally 4.5) (SXSW) – Don’t even get me started on this perfect little gem. Just go watch my Best of video for 2013.
Maladies (2012) (unreleased) – 1.5 outta 5 (SXSW) – Another pretentious crapfest, this time, James Franco is the star.
The Spectacular Now – 4 outta 5 (SXSW) – Honestly, it’s a good film but it didn’t stick with me.
Snap (renamed Enter the Dangerous Mind) – 3 outta 5 (SXSW) (unreleased) – So-so thriller about a Dubstep DJ with A LOT of issues.
Awful Nice – 1 outta 5 (SXSW) (releases in 2014) – Plenty awful, nothing nice.
Reality Show: The Film – 3.5 outta 5 (SXSW) (unreleased) – It’s actually a TV show condensed into a film but it was pretty cool.
Sound City – 4 outta 5 – Very cool documentary about the legendary Van Nuys recording studio.
Trance – 4.5 outta 5 (Pre-Screening) – Danny Boyle’s mind fucking thriller is a real trip with the year’s best soundtrack.
42 – 4 outta 5 (originally 4.5) (Hollywood Premiere) – Inspiring biopic of Jackie Robinson with great performances.
A Haunted House – 1 outta 5 – I wish Damon and Keenen Ivory Wayans were still doing comedies. Marlon continues to piss on the parody genre’s grave.
The Kings of Summer (2013) – 4.5 outta 5 (originally 4) (pre-screening) – The best coming-of-age film of 2013. Witty, hilarious and completely entertaining.
Pain & Gain – 2 outta 5 (pre-screening) – Michael Bay, can’t defend you on this tasteless bullshit.
Movie 43 – 1.5 outta 5 – Do I even need to…?
The Way, Way Back – 3.5 outta 5 (early screening) – Good coming-of-age dramedy but the year’s most overrated one.
Oblivion – 4 outta 5 – Hey, I dug it.
Iron Man 3 – 4 outta 5 – Very flawed and uneven but I had fun.
The Place Beyond the Pines (2012) – 4.5 outta 5 – Very bold storytelling and exceptional direction.
Gangster Squad – 3 outta 5 – So could’ve been a better film but I like the action and constant gunfights.
The To Do List – 2 outta 5 (early screening) – I adore Aubrey Plaza but her dry wit couldn’t save this witless, raunchy, tiresome sex comedy.
The Great Gatsby – 2.5 outta 5 (3D) – Though, it is “Spaz” Luhrmann’s best film and its visuals are great, the romance was good, it just fell apart for me halfway through the film. Not for me.
Aftershock (2012) – 2.5 outta 5 – Very violent disaster that really didn’t make a whole lot of sense.
Star Trek Into Darkness – 4.5 outta 5 – The best popcorn blockbuster of 2013. So much fun!
The Hangover Part III – 2.5 outta 5 (Premiere) – Yep, The hangover should have been a stand alone film. Some cool stunt work though.
The Last Stand – 3.5 outta 5 – Great to see Schwarzenegger back in action, even if he’s a bit rusty.
Side Effects – 3.5 outta 5 – Cool stylish thriller but not re-watchable.
Fast & Furious 6 – 4 outta 5 – Talk about over-the-top and rediculous but what a great time at the movies!
Superman Unbound – 4 outta 5 (Direct-to-Video) – An animated Lois Lane flips off Brainiac, then Superman kicks his ass. Yeah, pretty cool.
Oz the Great and Powerful – 3 outta 5 – James Franco as Oz… No. Nice looking film though. Nice to see The Mask make a cameo.
Man of Steel – 4.5 outta 5 – Hate it all you want, but me and millions of other movie lovers like to see Superman kick ass. I loved this film, even if it’s not perfect.
Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters (Unrated) – 2 outta 5 – Um, I.. uh, I just don’t understand what they were trying to do here.
Parker – 2 outta 5 – Wow, a Jason Statham flick with a minimal amount of action and absolutely no chemistry with Jennifer Lopez. Thanks for wasting my fucking time
This is the End – 4 outta 5 – Very funny and entertaining but not all the jokes hit the mark. Awesome special effects for a comedy.
World War Z – 4 outta 5 – Great to see a zombie apocalypse on a global scale. I had a good time.
The Purge – 3 outta 5 – Disappointed that this thriller couldn’t live up to the hype but it was plenty violent and entertaining.
How to Make Money Selling Drugs – 4 outta 5 – Very engaging documentary on the drug game.
Olympus Has Fallen – 4 outta 5 – With lots of bloody action and Gerard Butler kicking ass, saying lines like, “Let’s play a game of ‘go fuck yourself’. You go first”, this film feels like it was made for me.
Despicable Me 2 – 4 outta 5 – Great, fun sequel. Love those little Twinkie lookin’ buggers.
The Heat – 4.5 outta 5 – Melissa McCarthy has a way with curse words, man.
White House Down – 2.5 outta 5 – Oh, man, I’m sorry but as dumb and idiotic as this was, it was kinda entertaining.
Pacific Rim – 3.5 outta 5 – The effects are some next level shit and the fights made me giddy.
The Lone Ranger – 3.5 outta 5 – I liked it, had fun with it and don’t I get all the hate it got.
Redemption (Hummingbird) – 3.5 outta 5 – Jason Statham doing a drama? Well, it was more entertaining than fucking Parker.
Only God Forgives – 2 outta 5 – Clinched fists, few words, karaoke singing. Yep, nothing special about this one.
InAPPropriate Comedy – 0 – Literally the worst fucking thing ever put on film. This should be buried and all those involved should be ashamed.
The Wolverine – 4 outta 5 – Great action and plenty of depth added to the character, played perfectly once again by Hugh Jackman.
The Conjuring – 3.5 outta 5 – Good, old fashioned Horror film, not gonna deny that, but it didn’t bring anything new to the Horror table and at times, it felt weak.
Fruitvale Station – 4.5 outta 5 – Really great drama with a star making performance by Michael B. Jordan.
Erased (2012) – 2 outta 5 – Very standard espionage thriller that… I can barely remember anything about.
The Lifeguard (2013) – 1.5 outta 5 – A dreadful indie drama with no clue on what it wants to accomplish.
Elysium – 4 outta 5 – A thrilling sci-fi thriller with a slightly misguided narrative. I dug it.
Lee Daniel’s The Butler – 3.5 outta 5 (Hollywood Premiere) – Overrated but still a good film.
Bullet to the Head – 2.5 outta 5 – Liked Sly’s one-liners but where’s all the action, man?
Welcome to the Punch – 3 outta 5 – Pretty standard action flick but with great actors.
Jack the Giant Slayer – 2.5 outta 5 – Kind of a boring fantasy with some cool moments.
Kick-Ass 2 – 3 outta 5 – Very disappointing sequel, very. But, it had some cool moments.
We’re the Millers – 1.5 outta 5 – I really hated this hit comedy, didn’t laugh much and found it very boring.
The Canyons – 2 outta 5 – Seriously, all I remember is Lindsay Lohan’s nipples were shown, that’s it.
Identity Thief – 2.5 outta 5 – There are some funny moments but not enough.
The Call – 2.5 outta 5 – Better than I expected… still didn’t care for it.
The Iceman – 4 outta 5 – Great fact-based hitman drama with one intimidating performance by Michael Shannon.
The World’s End – 4 outta 5 – Funny, smart, action packed; Simon Pegg, Nick Frost and Edgar Wright have done it again. I really hope this isn’t the last time they team up.
The Grandmaster – 4.5 outta 5 – Beautiful Martial Arts film with a good story and great fight sequences.
Riddick – 4 outta 5 – Love Vin Diesel in this role and this was a very entertaining sci-fi sequel..
21 & Over – 2.5 outta 5 – Crude and dumb but I kinda enjoyed it but not enough to recommend it.
The Family – 3 outta 5 (pre-screening) – Lots of missed opportunities in this film but it had its moments.
The Bling Ring – 2.5 outta 5 – Stylish but dull.
Stoker – 3.5 outta 5 – Trippy, little thriller, kind of dug it.
Warm Bodies – 3 outta 5 – Puts a twist on the zombie genre that I don’t fully agree with but it was entertaining.
Prisoners – 4 outta 5 (pre-screening) – Hugh Jackman and Jake Gyllenhaal are exceptional and the film is intriguing but it has a fair share of issues.
Captain Phillips – 4.5 outta 5 (early screening) – Paul Greengrass seems to be the master of recreating a real life situation and making it into one hell of a movie. Once again, I have to tip my hat to Mr. Hanks.
Metallica: Through the Never (IMAX 3D) (free screening) – 4 outta 5 – What a fucking blast. I love Metallica and if I never get to see them in concert, at least I came close with this film.
I Declare War (2012) – 3 outta 5 – Cool little indie flick about boys being bous.
Justice League: The Flashpoint Paradox (DTV) – 4 outta 5 – Bad ass animated action flick with a creative spin on DC characters.
The Internship (unrated) – 2.5 outta 5 – Meh, kinda funny but some unoriginal, it hurts.
Killing Season – 3 outta 5 – Um, I don’t know. I wish Robert De Niro and John Travolta teamed up for a better movie but this one was kind of suspenseful.
Gravity – 4.5 outta 5 (3D) – Oh, the visuals! And yes, I was invested in the character’s survival.
Now You See Me – 3.5 outta 5 – I dug it but it wasn’t all that magical.
Machete Kills – 3.5 outta 5 – Not as sharp as the first but so ridiculously exciting.
Escape From Tomorrow – 3 outta 5 – Um… Well, they made a movie in Disney World with permission, that’s impressive.
Escape Plan – 3.5 outta 5 (pre-screening) – So great to see my two favorite action icons teaming up for a fun action-thriller
12 Years a Slave – 5 outta 5 (pre-screening) – Man, what a powerful, perfectly filmed drama. I felt privileged just to watch it. Hope it runs away with as many Oscars as it can.
Carrie – 3 outta 5 – Senseless remake, fo’ sho’ but it was alright.
V/H/S/2 – 3 outta 5 – Not all of the segments worked but the ones I liked were great.
Snitch – 3 outta 5 – Dwayne Johnson is such a likable guy and he makes this film decent.
Upstream Color – 2 outta 5. Look, I get it but I just didn’t really like it.
Epic – 3 outta 5 – If I’ve seen this as a kid< I’d probably love it but as an adult, it’s didn’t really appeal to me.
Thor: The Dark World – 4 outta 5 – Incredibly fun sequel, had a great time even with its flaws.
Ender’s Game – 4 outta 5 – Surprisingly smart and interesting sci-fi film that focuses on Strategy and not action. Harrison Ford acts like he actually gives a damn.
Monsters University – 4 outta 5 – Was this prequel neccesary, no, but I’m glad they made it. It was funny.
JOBS – 2 outta 5 – Who knew the story of such a complex man like Steve Jobs could make such a dull film?
McCanick – 2.5 outta 5 (releases in 2014) – Great performances from David Morse and the late Cory Montieth but the story is not very sharp.
Europa Report – 3 outta 5 – Cool and smart indie sci-fi thriller but nothing great.
CrazySexyCool: The TLC Story (TV) – 3.5 outta 5 – For a TV movie, it was decent. Plus, I was a big TLC fan back in the day, so I enjoyed hearing their hits while watching their struggles.
Mama – 2.5 outta 5 – Had me interested at first but then bored me in the second half.
Filly Brown (2012) – 3.5 outta 5 – Nice to see a fairly positive film with a predominant Hispanic cast. Unoriginal but entertaining story on a female rapper.
Dead in Tombstone (DTV) – 2.5 outta 5 – Dumb, cheesy nonsense that was kinda fun. Good job, Danny Trejo’s stunt double!
Bounty Killer – 3 outta 5 – Very cheesy B action film with some creativity, fun action scenes and lots of eye candy.
No One Lives (2012) – 2.5 outta 5 – Luke Evans played a decent villain but this was an uninspired horror flick.
The East – 3.5 outta 5 – Intriguing indie thriller. Re-watchability is low.
Scary Movie 5 (Unrated) – 1.5 outta 5 – The Solid laughs it did fan were crushed by the bullshit jokes that dominated the film.
The Croods – 4 outta 5 – Really surprised on how much I enjoyed this fun animated film that proves, even in an animated film, Nicholas Cage can still have his Nic Cage moment.
Lovelace – 3 outta 5 – Fine performances but lacking in the story of Linda Lovelace.
The Hunger Games: Catching Fire – 4.5 outta 5 – Wow, I’d follow Katniss Everdeen into hell, she’s awesome. And this is a great sequel!
Before Midnight – 3.5 outta 5 – Overrated, in my opinion, but still worthy of praise. Probably the most effective out of the “Before” series.
R.I.P.D. – 2 outta 5 – Dumb, just plain dumb. Where did they come up with this, oh, yeah… Men in Black.
Kevin Hart: Let Me Explain – 3.5 outta 5 – Kevin Hart is hit-or-miss with me but I enjoyed most of the jokes.
G.I. Joe: Retaliation – 3 outta 5 – Big time guilty pleasure. So dumb but it brought out my inner child.
The Best Man Holiday – 4 outta 5 – Didn’t ask for a sequel but it was a great Christmas gift.
The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug – 4.5 outta 5 – Dang, Peter Jackson, now I love this series! THIA is how I want to be thrown back into Middle Earth!
Runner Runner – 2 outta 5 – Tons of style and flare but what does it all add up to? Nothing. Lame film.
Out of the Furnace – 2.5 outta 5 – Good performances don’t help much when you have a dull story.
American Hustle – 4 outta 5 – Great in so many ways, just not great overall. Overrated.
Planes – 2 outta 5 – This shouldn’t even count, I watched this while wrapping Christmas gifts and was bored with it. Lame, lame, lame!
The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones – 2 outta 5 – The definition of lame. Really tried to like this film but couldn’t enjoy it.
Saving Mr. Banks – 4 outta 5 – Lovely film, wonderful performances, well directed, but it just doesn’t stand out for me.
The Wolf of Wall Street – 4.5 outta 5 – Nasty epic movie and I ate this shit up! Leo, you da man! Scorsese, you’re extraordinary.
Safe Haven – 2/5 – Here I go, trying to be open-minded, try to enjoy a romantic film and I get this shit.
Getaway – 2.5 outta 5 – The dumbest, most idiotic action film of the year… and dammit, I was entertained. Shame on me.
Disconnect (2012) – 4 outta 5 – Overlooked dramatic gem about the dangers on social media and people not being able to connect with one another.
2 Guns – 4 outta 5 – Had lots if fun with this action caper. Denzel and Marky mark are great together.
All is Lost – 2.5 outta 5 – I’m lost as to why this snoozefest is such a high rated film. Borrrrrrring. Period.
Don Jon – 3.5 outta 5 – Good first attempt at directing, JGL but it’s lacking on character development.
Insidious: Chapter 2 – 3.5 outta 5 – Good follow up, I thought. A tab slow in some parts but chilling in others.
Lone Survivor – 4.5 outta 5 – Peter Berg’s best film, hands down, put you right in the thick of combat and shows you the horrors of war that’ll make you flinch.
Rush – 4.5 outta 5 – I was hesitant to watch this but, boy, was I wrong. Great drama, never a dull moment and terrific performances. Great way to end the year.