Twas a month before Christmas and all through the web.
People spoke of Hobbits or their favorite celeb.
Reviewers were sitting and typing away,
it was just an average internet day.
When out on the web a trailer was posted.
Definitely ‘Not Safe For Work’ it boasted.
Some did not click, but I did in fact,
to see the full trailer of Nymphomaniac.
The video played and in two seconds I saw
an eye, a vagina, and the title did crawl.
Then what to my wondering eyes should aspire,
The Elder Skaarsgard and a car set on fire.
Little red shorts and more drama plays out.
We find out what this movie is really about.
A film that will earn an X-rating real quick
’bout a woman who admits to being a sex addict.
Now Dafoe, now LaBeouf, Now she’s nude on a lap
More talking, more Stellan, she needs a good nap.
A black and white shot! Down an alley or hall.
She’s in bed with a woman and bareing it all.
Some S&M, a scream and some hits
we find out she does not swallow but spits.
We see an O face and fellatio on screen.
She’s naked again with a guy, what a scene.
There’s a girl that she kisses,
There’s sex from behind.
There’s crying, more crying and a drip down her thigh.
We see the sun, they are talking some more.
Some blood, a gun, and a woman who’s sore.
We see Lars’ name again, the title is there.
It’s more than a US audience will bear.
It could be good, it could be bad.
It is a film that will make people mad.
The mainstream can handle sex that is fake.
But when they see it for real, well that it can’t take.
Some will call it art and others just porn.
Regardless it’s something that mainstream will scorn.
A four hour movie, split in two parts.
This film may be dead before it can start.
– Poem/Review by Mark Krawczyk