“Nymphomaniac” – Trailer Review by Mark Krawczyk

nymph

Twas a month before Christmas and all through the web.
People spoke of Hobbits or their favorite celeb.
Reviewers were sitting and typing away,
it was just an average internet day.

Nymphomaniac-Willem-Dafoe

When out on the web a trailer was posted.
Definitely ‘Not Safe For Work’ it boasted.
Some did not click, but I did in fact,
to see the full trailer of Nymphomaniac.

Nymphomaniac-Uma-Thurman

The video played and in two seconds I saw
an eye, a vagina, and the title did crawl.
Then what to my wondering eyes should aspire,
The Elder Skaarsgard and a car set on fire.

Nymphomaniac-Stellan-Skarsgard

Little red shorts and more drama plays out.
We find out what this movie is really about.
A film that will earn an X-rating real quick
’bout a woman who admits to being a sex addict.

Nymphomaniac-Stacy-Martin

Now Dafoe, now LaBeouf, Now she’s nude on a lap
More talking, more Stellan, she needs a good nap.
A black and white shot! Down an alley or hall.
She’s in bed with a woman and bareing it all.

Nymphomaniac-Sophie-Kennedy-Clark

Some S&M, a scream and some hits
we find out she does not swallow but spits.
We see an O face and fellatio on screen.
She’s naked again with a guy, what a scene.

Nymphomaniac-Shia-LaBeouf

There’s a girl that she kisses,
There’s sex from behind.
There’s crying, more crying and a drip down her thigh.

Nymphomaniac-Mia-Goth

We see the sun, they are talking some more.
Some blood, a gun, and a woman who’s sore.
We see Lars’ name again, the title is there.
It’s more than a US audience will bear.

Nymphomaniac-Jamie-Bell

It could be good, it could be bad.
It is a film that will make people mad.
The mainstream can handle sex that is fake.
But when they see it for real, well that it can’t take.

Nymphomaniac-Connie-Nielsen

Some will call it art and others just porn.
Regardless it’s something that mainstream will scorn.
A four hour movie, split in two parts.
This film may be dead before it can start.

Nymphomaniac-Christian-Slater

– Poem/Review by Mark Krawczyk

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