“Project X” – Review by MovieManMenzel

This is quite possibly one of the worst films to ever hit cinema.

Three friends Costa (Oliver Cooper), Thomas (Thomas Mann), and JB (Jonathan Daniel Brown) decide that they are going to throw a party as a way to get in with the ladies and hopefully get laid. Costa is the ring leader of the pack and he goes around school and tells everyone about how bad ass this party is going to be. This is when word of mouth begins to spread and what was originally supposed to be a small party with about 50 people has turned into something that none of these friends could have imagined in their wildest dreams.

Going into this movie I expected very little from it, I watched the trailer and thought “this movie can’t be 88 minutes of just teens partying without any substance or depth, can it?” I also know that Warner Brothers has been shoving advertising down the throats of the middle school, high school, and college kid demographic labeling this film as “the best party movie ever.” Without much hope or anticipation, I ventured into my Tuesday evening press screening to see just what Project X had to offer.

There have always been debates about the media having an agenda to dumb down Americans and this film speaks that message louder than almost any other film that I have ever seen before. I cannot recall the last time that a movie literally made me truly hate humanity. This is a movie where all characters lack any sort of dimension to them (they aren’t even one-dimensional) and on top of that the entire film focuses on drinking, partying, loud rap music, drugs, and the horny  13 year old favorite tits and ass. Is this really all it takes anymore to amuse the masses?  I am seriously wondering that question after hearing so many people laugh while I sat there with the biggest look of frustration on my face as the film ran its unbearable 88 minute run-time.

It seems that over the past 10 years, the media has turned us into a society where we just sit back and watch whatever crap studios throw at us. This mindset has literally came from the birth of reality television, which is without a doubt the most insulting form of media known to man.  Project X made me feel as if I was watching a film that the creators of the Jersey Shore and the guy behind College Rules, yes that porn website, pitched to Warner Brothers as the next big thing in reality film.

The three friends in this film are about as entertaining as watching paint dry. The film opens with Costa going around filming himself talking about getting pussy while extremely loud rap music is blaring behind him.  This tone never changes as the film progresses. The movie never attempts to make any sense of what is going on. This is one of those movies where someone sat there and just threw out the most ridiculous ideas and Warner Brothers just sat there and said “good, give me more, make it even more over the top.”  The party just grows and grows, the drugs get worse and worse, and the events that take place become even more and more ridiculous that at one point there is a scene where a drug dealer with a flamethrower walks through the street and sets the entire block on fire. I am not kidding, even though I wish I was.

What made this film even worse besides having no story and just being completely insulting to teenagers and adults alike? I could say that it had less depth than a porn film, but that isn’t the worst part of it. The worst part is by far the characters. The characters in this film have moments, especially the kid named Thomas, where you think he is going to become a real character and do something about what is going on. The issue, however, is that whenever someone comes up to him and he tells them to calm down or stop, the other person says to Thomas “have another drink” or “take this drug” and he just does it, like he is a mindless idiot incapable of any thought.

There is even a ridiculous romantic subplot that doesn’t even fit in the film at all where this innocent looking blonde named Kirby has a crush on Thomas. It turns out the two have been friends since childhood and of course, like all stupid films with teenagers, the two “hook up” at the party. A few moments later, Thomas admits to his friends that he likes Kirby and they make fun of him and say this isn’t about her this is about hooking up with girls who we would never get to sleep with. Does that sound shallow at all to you?  Anyway, in the next scene, Kirby asks Thomas if he got laid while swimming in a see-through top while she mutters I love this party, which makes no sense at all considering she was earlier portrayed as the smart and quiet girl. This subplot only gets worse as it goes on as Thomas hooks up with someone else at the party and Kirby catches them. When Kirby gets upset and runs out of the party, Thomas runs after her but gives up without any sort of emotion or effort at all and then just goes back to the party and drinks some more.

Now, I realize that people will say, “Scott, you missed the entire point of this film” while others will say “dude, it’s a movie about teenagers and partying, stop taking things so seriously.” My response to both these reactions is simply this: There are thousands, if not millions of people myself included, who have really creative ideas for films, television shows, and so forth but yet someone who writes a thought provoking story about say a child dealing with depression gets overlooked, but a movie that a horny 13 year old thought of when he was jerking off to porn gets made? I am sorry, but I can’t take this dumbing down of America anymore. There is more to life than watching people drink, puke, get high, and show clips of women without tops on and dogs humping things. There is creative thought provoking content out there that goes unnoticed because of pure horse shit like this.

Before I end this review, I must say one last thing about the films ending. I have never seen in my life a more pathetic father and son interaction than the one in this film. The movie ended almost as poorly and cheesy as that episode of Full House where one of the daughters drove the car through the house and the only thing said was the father saying “oh my, do you know how much this is going to cost”  and the daughter responding with “I am sorry dad.” It’s that bad with no kind of upsetting outburst or anger coming from the father, but rather a stupid joke about “there goes your college fund.”  Seriously, what the hell was that!

In conclusion, this just might be the most insulting, stupid, and completely utterly pointless film that I have ever seen. I don’t remember ever wanting to jump out of my seat and walk out of a theater as much as I wanted to do with this one.  About half way through the film, I got an overwhelming urge to stand up and just scream “FUCK YOU!” at the top of my lungs and walk out. I can’t believe how many people found this film to be funny as it was simply just more of what is making this country the disgrace that it is becoming. This is a movie for the lowest common denominator and I am not even joking.  I hated this movie with every single bone in my body.

MovieManMenzel’s final rating for Project X is a 0.5/10. That’s right; it doesn’t even get a 1.

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