Ithaca Fantastik Review: Vampyr Vidar – It Certainly Does Suck

Vampyr Vidar is misogynistic, homophobic and rapey. Worse, it mistakes all three things for edgy.

Vidar (Thomas Aske Berg) confesses his story to a psychologist (Kim Sonderholm), from when he was a repressed horny child to when Jesus (Brigt Skrettingland) made him a vampire. The shrink doesn’t believe Vidar but it doesn’t matter, we still see the story play out in flashback.

Vidar levitate and stretches his arms out in front of a cross. Isn’t that provocative? Because Jesus also came back from the dead, but he’s a religious symbol! And he’s a character in this movie!

Jesus comes to Vidar with his nutsack hanging out and Vidar sucks his dick, because oh my god can you believe men suck other men’s dicks? What will they think of next? Jesus turns water into wine as a party trick. Way to stick it to millennia of region there. Vidar attends an AA group, where of course they say to let Jesus take the wheel. But Jesus is the one who turned him! Whoa!

Vidar is still bitter over a childhood prank where a girl pretended to like him only to embarrass him. Yeah, kids are mean. You don’t get to harbor a vendetta against all women as an adult. Vidar was repressed and emasculated by his mom too. Listen, cry Norman Bates a river.

It is supposed to be endearing, or at least mitigate his evil for comedic purposes, that Vidar botches his stalking. Maybe I’m too old for that now. When you start with the toxic nice guy premise, it’s not funny to me that he’s assaulting women. Force biting women’s privates when they’re passed out doesn’t seem so funny, and coughing up the tampon is beneath Fifty Shades of Grey.

There may be some issues with the translation. “I want to sample a variety of women, 20s and up” sounds like a literal translation that doesn’t quite flow. Or maybe it’s supposed to be that awkward in which case it’s not funny. Vampyr Vidar is also full of obnoxious music compounding distasteful humor with disharmony.

If you want to see endearing vampires, What We Do In a The Shadows is streaming. Fortunately, Ithaca Fantastik had many films better than Vampyr Vidar.

Written by
Fred Topel also known as Franchise Fred has been an entertainment journalist since 1999 and specializes in writing about film, television and video games. Fred has written for several outlets including About.com, CraveOnline, and Rotten Tomatoes among others. His favorite films include Toy Story 2, The Rock, Face/Off, True Lies, Labyrinth, The Big Hit, Michael Moore's The Big One, and Casablanca. We are very lucky and excited to have Fred as part of the We Live Entertainment team. Follow him on Twitter @FranchiseFred and @FredTopel

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