Top 8 Worst Offenses of Movie Goers by Ashley Menzel
This is Ashley Menzel with a list of the top eight worst offenses of filmgoers. We hope you enjoy our list and make sure to comment below with your thoughts.
#8 : Loudly Eating
You know when you’re sitting there in a theater and suddenly there’s a God damn T-rex behind you destroying some popcorn. Jesus Christ! We need to get Chris Pratt. This shit is out of control.
#7 Farting
When you’re all into a film about a downtrodden boy with no legs living in the streets of New York and some asshole has to add the 4d element of dropping
SBD bomb all over your moment. Thank you my eyes are watering for an entirely new reason.
#6 Talking Loudly
I don’t give a flying fuck what Nancy is cooking for dinner, Edna.
#5 Making Out
You know it’s lurking behind you by the disgusting slurps and wet
noise and it’s your worst nightmare: teens sucking face. Now you spend the rest of your movie thinking about the number of STDs in the world and how many are lurking in your seat cushion.
#4 Renarrating the Film with Commentary
Thank you for narrating everything someone in the film is doing. I couldn’t tell he was upset because someone killed his puppy. I’m an emotionally numb robot.
#3 Getting Up Constantly
I get it. Nature calls, emergencies, etc. But if you are one of those people who can’t sit in your seat for 30 minutes without having to get up, I will trip you next time. Side note: don’t be the asshole that climbed over me and gets wayyy into my personal space and doesn’t say excuse me.
#2 Leaving a Mess
There’s nothing I love more than re-enacting a scene where I “Indiana Jones” step my way out of the theater as not to break my neck on your popcorn, soda, candy, and your human decency.
#1 Cell Phone Use
All of a sudden it’s like heaven opened up and shot out the illuminated face of an asshole. You are not that important unless you’re a doctor and most doctors aren’t going to the movies that often so I shouldn’t see is many assholes as I do playing with their phones, checking their Twitter, looking at her Instagram. I don’t care how many likes or retweets you have. Be considerate of everyone around you.
Thank you for reading this article from We Live Film. Don’t forget to comment below with your movie theater pet peeves as well as subscribe to the Youtube channel, comment, like and share. Check out our podcast on the Red Guerrilla Network on Thursdays at 5 P.M. PST
